The following are actual label instructions on consumer goods

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary - Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.(Damn!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.(Too late!  You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:Product will be hot after heating.(Are you sure???  Let's experiment.)

Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?) & (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:Do not drive car or operate machinery.  (We could do a lot to reduce therate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off thosefork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:Warning: may cause drowsiness.(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:Warning keep out of children.(Oh please?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:Not to be used for the other use.(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.(have a lobotomy)

On a Swedish chain saw:Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.(Surprise, surprise!)

-Donated by "shyguy"

The World's Easiest Quiz?:-(Answers at the bottom. Hey - NO Cheating!)

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

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Answers To The Quiz

1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.

2) Ecuador.

3) From sheep and horses.

4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.

5) Squirrel fur.

6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.

7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of QueenVictoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.

8) Distinctively crimson.

9) New Zealand.