A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks
it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I
will grant you three wishes."

The man says "Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I
want. First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof!
There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears

in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right
here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari
appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be
irresistible to women." Poof!

There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was
listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!"

The man asked the doctor what the problem was.

"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"

"No," replied the man.

"Do you drink in excess?

"No," replied the man.

"Do you have a sex life?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to
give up half your sex life."

Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half - the looking or the
thinking?"

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to
deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.
When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the
laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he
could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little
while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and
spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first
breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the
baby.

"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have
crawled up there in the first place!"

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